I wrote these between 11:30 yesterday and 12am today, Friday 25th September.

Came to save to day
Got saved anyway

I did it in my sleep
I practiced in the day
They call us lazy youth
Because we dey our dey
Godswill had a dream
He called me for a beat
I jequthiel’d on it
His cousin made it sweet

10th First
You heard first
It’s my thirst
To see you be the best
And wear wisdom like a crest

So you know I started
I’ll make you read a lot
Less than a thousand, a pound’s kin is Azikiwe not smiling.

Haptic with the flow
Thanks a lot to failure
Had to hurt to grow
Reading na im sure

Mass is ended at the 1st hour.
Funny that the second hour’s name is one o’clock
Masses have a lot of power
I’ve been training up to master what they call luck

Yet they say thia world e no balance
Is there balance?
Change? Is there a balance?
Lessons locked in idiosyncratic Naija parlance.

_till it’s 12_

Back to what I told him
I don’t have to say that I’m a Christian
It’s written in my ways and my gisting
You know how I got them
And watching
And all the while, it’s just my business I be minding.
I took the minds of kids and I armed them
When accused of pride, I don’t have a word to tell them.
I’ll be twenty minutes when I tell you I’ll be twenty-nine
I’ve lost a lot of ginja just trying to stay in line
Yes I am a rainbow
Yes I am sublime
Yes I like lime, cut and put it when I wine

It’s three minutes to 12
I keep missing Mile 12
Oh so much to delve
Into but I’ll shelve
All that like a belch


An inside-smile about our Nigerian childhoods

― If you didn’t kill earthworm with salt.
― If you didn’t play rubber band.
― If you never bathed in the rain.  
― If nobody told you about India vs Nigeria 99-1.
― If you didn’t sleep on the couch and wake
up on the bed
― if u didn’t throw your milk tooth on the
roof for the lizards to take it and give you new ones.
― If you didn’t just wash your hands and legs instead of
bathing when going to school.
― If you didn’t act film in uncompleted building or under bed
with friends.
― If you never flew a kite.
– If you didn’t use ur two legs to build houses with sand.
– If u didn’t write ur name on paper and insert it into ur pen
so that no one will steal it.
– If u didn’t close d fridge door really slowly to see when d
lights went off.
– If u neva waved @ white birds expectin ur nails to b whiter
– If u neva heard of a ghost dat stays under
mango trees @nights
– If u didn’t drive a single car Tyre with a stick and called it
ur car!
– If u didnt mix garri n sugar in ur pocket and eat while
walking in the street.
– If u never did mama and papa play i.e. cookin grass nd
sand witout fire.
– If you didn’t play table soccer. with bottle
…..then I guess ur Childhood wasn’t fun!
Oya choose which one u do
Do you knw its not jangilova epo motor? it is JINGLE OVER LIKE A MOTOR!! I bet u didn’t knw. Don’t be shy, I didn’t know either until now I am sure 99.9 % of adults that grew up in Nigeria dnt knw dat d nursery rhyme “sandalili sandalili” is actually “standard living standard living”. D song in church saying ” o singo singo, praise d Lord”, is actually ” o sing my soul and praise d Lord. I knw u are singing it now again, smiles ***Confess.! are u guilty? hahahaha! keep sharing d fun and laff it offJesus died over 2000 yrs ago and  nobody has ever called him the late Jesus, not even de devil. No where in history! He is still the Living God!

Naija Hijists

1).  He who refuses to mix Agege bread and akara as a type of sandwich is a racist – Martin Luther King jnr (1788)

2).  He who completely unwraps moimoi and gala before eating cannot keep a secret – Abraham Lincoln (1864)

3).  Only a courageous woman can fry a bunch of plantain without tasting any – Albert Macauley (1872)

4).  Drinking Garri doesn’t mean u’re poor, but allowing the Garri to swell before drinking is poverty – Queen Elizabeth (1893)

5).  Any man who drinks Alomo bitters without squeezing his face, is capable of murder – Michael Faraday (1899)

6).  Any man that uses his teeth to cut shaki from pepper soup, with his eyes wide open, is not afraid of anything – Williams Shakespeare (1900)

7).  Anyone who graduates from a conventional school without experiencing a strike, has never been to Nigeria – Lord Lugard (1904)

8).  He who runs around looking for scissors to cut indomine seasoning sachet is not hungry – Dr Nnamdi Azikiwe (1947)

9).  He who says nothing lasts forever has never tried Hausa perfume – Nelson Mandela (1973)

10).  No matter how hot your temper is, it cannot cook yam – Prof Jega (2015)

11).  Anyone who reads this without laughing, is either looking for job or needs money badly – Barack Obama (2014).

And he  who reads and does not share this is naturally stingy.
Don’t laugh alone, pass it on.