Tomorrow is Thursday

​Sitting in the office listening to Sarkodie

Sitting in the office heart steady aiming there

Once upon a Quchi, Mpape was my city

Now I got magic, call it audacity
Now am humble as I tick off the stages

Now they wonder what number this my age is

My crushes still stare at me, diabolical

The victories line up, illogical
The war is on, yep, buh we won em all

There were kisses in the past buh we blew em all
The ladies win though, shopping malls

Funny punning only here to make you doubt it all
Rapping for me is still a borrowed pose

Check our matter you can see somebody nose

The Word is our medicine, we overdose

Yeah we Stuck in heaven and hell is growing cold
Winning souls like they’re subs and eleven

Ecumenical meetings, hands raised in the dozens

When you don’t know bro you should talk less

I am hidden in Christ, light, like the Sun’s chest
Writing till I sleep I still hill like Bopeep 

Jesu in Quchi like you when you spell it

God is my Papa, by faith that he born it

I am not alone and my people? We still burn it!

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Miss Conception

​HOST:

2016 years ago it began. From the heartbeat of one man to the very souls of the entire earth today, Kings and Priests, Fellow Saints of the Most High! The CEDARS warmly welcome you  to another mind-blowing time. This is… Miss Conception 2016!!!

*applause
HOST:

Tonight; I am filled so much excitement and joy to present to you, five of the Daughters of Conception!!  

Miss Prayer Conception

Miss Fasting Conception

Miss Security Conception 

Miss Giving Conception

Miss Identity Conception
*continued applause
Are they not beautiful?

These beautiful faces have held ransom the hearts of millions…
*applause dies out/ everyone sits
Welcome, Ladies. Now! Prayer, you have seen huge amounts of patronage in the last century. Please tell us how its been; ups and downs…how much impact would you say you’ve made in the industry today?
MISS PRAYER CONCEPTION:

Well, normally my place should command perpetual presence…

*jovial unintelligible interruption from Miss Security

MISS PRAYER CONCEPTION (continues smiling):

Yeah my foundation should command perpetual presence of everyone, but the thing is that in the industry today people associate some of us Conceptions with the same process they suffer from some their governments establishments; they come when they heavy with some anxiety and expect instant emancipation, which would be harmless if they didn’t disappear once they get what they are looking for. Those who don’t come for that reason come as a means of either fulfilling obligations or of contacting some mystical power. It’s all very saddening when you consider in ….

Those are the anticlines however, people asking for things they already own, praying for death instead of life..etc

On the up-side it really is perpetual communion, and this is possible through the Spirit of Truth.
THE HOST:

Wow! I think it’s so good to hear prayer speak from such a position. Are we in agreement or being enchanted by her assuaging voice? Fasting, you are often consulted along with Miss Prayer due to your interdependent roles in the industry. What do you think of Miss Prayers assertions?
MISS FASTING CONCEPTION:

The thing is… all our offices are intertwined both in role and understanding. Take for instance, The Foundation of Miss Identity; without proper knowledge of her technicalities, there is bound to be misinterpretation of the roles of the rest of us. I can’t even expect to relate how many times people expect me to carry out Prayer’s responsibilities and actually give me credit when she does her job.

The thing is… some people don’t know my history, how I was first initiated into the industry, how I used to live with the mournful. It is hard to believe because now New Creation magazine has really redefined my portfolio…
THE HOST:

That is so true and we are all happy to experience the New Fasting. You can find more details of that in the Isaiah 58 article of The Old Testament Magazine. Miss Security…

*Miss Security interrupts
MISS SECURITY CONCEPTION

As in eh?!  If I say I want to enumerate all my grievances at the misinterpretation of my role and even the gross ignorance of my parameters, we will stay here till rainy season OH!!
THE HOST:

Calm down Miss Security. We will be right back after this short break; this is Miss Conception 2016, don’t go anywhere. 

*applause… prep

*applause on ‘Action’

Welcome back to Miss Conception 2016. Now, Miss Security, Which part of your large portfolio would you like to tell us about?
MISS SECURITY CONCEPTION

Of course it is the Weapons matter. Which part of ‘love your enemies’ don’t we understand? It’s baffling. I can imagine how it would be if the early Apostles had taken up arms back in the days of persecution. Today it is a normal thing to see armed men ‘guarding’ the glory. And you wonder who they then look to for protection when they so obviously have left behind the Ways of the Love and Peace. Everyone is walking in stilettos studded with fear and we expect Faith to trend on twitter… Oh it is ridiculous.
THE HOST:

Speaking of twitter; Miss Identity, what does your foundation have to say about this matter? And I want you, as Miss Security has done, speak about the Industry within your sphere.
MISS IDENTITY CONCEPTION

Hmmm. There was a time when ‘gathering of the Brethren’ Produtions concentrated on enlightening the public concerning their rights and privileges, telling them who they are. But now its they have broken off into denominations and local outlets so that even the big gatherings no longer even remember what it’s about. If people are not trooping to Miss Prayer, they are off to Miss Fasting and I think the real problem is…from my department.

THE HOST

Really interesting, think about that on this short break; this is… Miss Conception 2016, don’t go anywhere. 

*applause… prep

*applause on ‘Action’

Welcome back to Miss Conception 2016.
*MURMURING

THE HOST

Now, MISS IDENTITY; for those just joining us, and even some of us who’ve been here, please explain how The Conceptions have been influenced by your office. 
MISS IDENTITY CONCEPTION (continues):

Hmmm. See it is not a matter of telling or advising or even educating people about roles because those lines can again be blurred in the face of the different designers that are in every corner today. The problem is that everyone thinks they need something… we in the industry need to always remember and be reminded that we have indeed been blessed with everything…

*thunderous applause

MISS IDENTITY CONCEPTION (continues so the applause fades):

We have been blessed with everything that we need…inside each and every one of us.
THE HOST:

So right…so right. So many selfies with Jesus and Saint Paul will keep anyone conscious of this. Now, Last…

*whooping cheers from the audience

..Last but most definitely not the least; Miss Giving Conception. In the light of all that the Miss Conceptions have said, I’d like you to cap it all up. 
MISS GIVING CONCEPTION

First of all… I’d like to give thanks to God for where we are in the Kingdom today. My sister Conceptions call it the Industry, but I like to call it the Kingdom and also I give thanks to …em…the CEDARS.

To cap this all up I think everyone needs to remember a quote for each of these my Sister Conceptions.

With my Darling Identity, remember, you are co-heirs with Christ

With Miss Prayer, Man ought to pray always, not at 12am or before every meal…always

With Miss Fasting, if the Lord does not build a house, they labour in vain that build it.

With the radiant Miss Security… The righteous shall live by faith.

THE HOST 

And For yourself?
MISS FASTING

I think it should be,’No one asks and it is not given to them…’
MISS GIVING (*nodding and smiling)

Okay…I think I like that.
THE HOST

You’ve heard from them, the Conceptions themselves. Thank you Ladies, for making the time for us today.

*applause

Now, my Lovely Audience, you must have noticed this empty seat. It wasn’t left so by mistake. This chair represents your mind;like Miss prayer said, only in the Spirit of Truth can we be equipped sincerely through the Word. Will you crown Truth in your mind or should we expect another Miss Conception?

Till next time, Kings and Priests, Fellow Saints of The Most High…this is Miss Conception 2016!!!!

Lever Age

​THE LEVER AGE 

(‘The Leverage’ Parody)

Hello Guys! 

Welcome to the new cursor ” 2017″
You have come a long way to go past this destination, you won’t end here.
This is the new age, if today’s your birthday.

And if you know rage, thank God you’re still here. Yayyy!!!
Help me, Teller, to live; I need the catch to buy this ‘New Year’ idea that’s free.
But People! It’s cool, celebrate!

Appreciate God for this date.

In time, we elevate,

New adventures, we initiate.

Even evening out odd odds,

Welcome on board, Ladies and Lords.
Listen carefully! Get rid of the cages

It is you, the called, who has the ring and engages 

The lost in the chases, teaching them he won their races.

And keeping on with the sweaty praises.
Yesterday is long gone, like a rifle.

It is time to grow and flow, like a trickle.

Let’s update our versions of operation 

So we stay compatible with re-presentation.

This is still our present, we’re won.

Words are never enough, Let us love rough.

And if I die in battle, look for my disciple.
Look! Never forget it’s still earth

World full of pain and near-death

World full of War and Ogiri

World full of plenty praying you see

Truth as you strive on a quest to be best

Tomorrow is just another test…of your rest.

         

© , The Niel 

Wrote this exactly on the First day of 2017

Can’t get over you

Your eyes
Tell you what I used to look like

I’d stare
Look away because the world was there

Your ears
Tell you things no one else bears
No one but you
And I.

You mean
More to me than time can reveal

You are
Like this sea of wonders
And I
Can’t get over you.

Your lips
Purse with currency no other bank keeps

Your heart
Was never mine to steal from the start
So take back your heart
And I.

You see
Deeper in me than I can feel

And tomorrow better be better
And tomorrow better be better
And tomorrow better be better
I don’t want to live in
A past that never happened

You are
Beautiful
And I
Can’t get over you

Paid and Named

Couple of failures,
You would think my mistakes married.
Little girl, New nameplate ‘Miss Carried’.
You can draw conclusions, from the way her eye lashes,
That she so hot she gave the streets heat rashes;
Na her work oh, the boys will tell stories.
Bunga-what?! She dey plot to build storeys
When she pass you, blame it on JAMB lesson
No be railway, she ha lost her home training
There was no bad gang, she was good alone.
Even the church people had said their own.
Father getting farther, wharris all dizz?
Poisonous music and movies became her mind’s meat.

But…

Bread of Life,
baked in the oven of a virgin
That good news, now we’re broadcasting
Peace came, and cut her the whole loaf.
IfeJesu, carved out the whole truth.

Yeah, she Nielly ran but Chinonso
Godswill is that the girl glow
That the air tell news of the truth you see
Ama cut CaP till an Alex slander me

Father Father, Nnannam oh
You reaped what I sow
I don’t have to bicycle.

Wait, Wait…

I don’t have to buy sickle.
No matter what hospital.
I will look em in eye shout ‘Horse spittle’
And they dull so they’ll miss it too
Enwekwam UbaAmara, ills are a small issue.

…Ills are a small issue.

In other news, back to Miss Carried.
Those her bad habits, they have seen harpic
Kids don’t come, now they calling her barren.
But her eyes on the Lord and the years passing.

…and the years passing.

Thirteen years, her belleh swelling.
All her friends say, ‘Bae, you are just adding.’
Already we know the story
Its Hannah and its my Auntie
The prayers we’ve forgotten
Are ripe for manifesting
I know that he’ll always hear me
Signed: Jesu Christi.
Through The  Niel.

Baby Freestyle

Born cute and litu
Got more milk than viju
Life is priti simpu
Yeah my mummy shouldn’t catch you

Don’t care about birthdays
Don’t care what the news says
My hands are not for work nay
I just get me more stares
Got a toothless smile brighter than star flares.

I don’t need to walk mehn, these legs are for fancy.
My parents are awesome, you can see that through me.

And if you’re asking yourself what I am,
Think of me as a crying man.

Oh yes what I do is a full time job.
My armpits see more hands than Arab mobs.
Keep your wages I got royalty.
My employers are called parents, I’m paid to ‘be’

Pastor freestyle

These first lines should tell you I’m a pastor.
Eating up Word, its his flesh, am a raptor.

Dropped two lines, dibs on the new year..
Tell those other stars, we’re eternal, all year…

Lord knows I couldn’t care less about the devil’s antics;
Bro, I’m a CEDAR, plus I brought my Aunties.
Two words from a demon and we raiding Hell’s anthills.

Ah, Deh says I’m a show off
I’m typing my thumb off
Writing Cuz I had studied
Everybody nose my lyrics are cold, I blow it.

My team is the best, gotta keep getting better
WiFi is school, outside I buy data
Now I’m in nsukka so the lyrics reign, pure water.
Type faster!!

All the waking poets in the house make your mind up
Already we know the foundation of the Lord’s strong
No dey praise me, send the glory up
These lyrics are rivers where I sing the Lord’s song

I no longer weep when I remember Zion
Life is like a jungle, my father is The Lion

Somebody stop Niel
He is typing to kill
Laziness found stabbed
People of God, Dab!
The Lord is still my Shepherd but I want you all to stand up.
If you think you lacking weapons get your mind up

One verse for Hanna,
Better than Montana,
This one is eternal,
But she writes like a wrecking ball.
Tell it all, on a mount or on whatsapp
These poets are saved. Is only truth we give up.

Dem talk sey we go tick ‘talk’
Hang around like we wall clock
But no home we live Word
Yeah brother we still work.

True talk.

I had told them last year
“We taking over, We taking over”
No be joke, but the laughing is allowed
When we not on the ground, we are busy telling the crowd;
“The Spirit is my six pack, that’s how am endowed.”
Reverberating my mentors, that is how I am sound.