Jack is sharp when WORK IS PLAY
2016 years ago it began. From the heartbeat of one man to the very souls of the entire earth today, Kings and Priests, Fellow Saints of the Most High! The CEDARS warmly welcome you to another mind-blowing time. This is… Miss Conception 2016!!!
Tonight; I am filled so much excitement and joy to present to you, five of the Daughters of Conception!!
Miss Prayer Conception
Miss Fasting Conception
Miss Security Conception
Miss Giving Conception
Miss Identity Conception
Are they not beautiful?
These beautiful faces have held ransom the hearts of millions…
*applause dies out/ everyone sits
Welcome, Ladies. Now! Prayer, you have seen huge amounts of patronage in the last century. Please tell us how its been; ups and downs…how much impact would you say you’ve made in the industry today?
MISS PRAYER CONCEPTION:
Well, normally my place should command perpetual presence…
*jovial unintelligible interruption from Miss Security
MISS PRAYER CONCEPTION (continues smiling):
Yeah my foundation should command perpetual presence of everyone, but the thing is that in the industry today people associate some of us Conceptions with the same process they suffer from some their governments establishments; they come when they heavy with some anxiety and expect instant emancipation, which would be harmless if they didn’t disappear once they get what they are looking for. Those who don’t come for that reason come as a means of either fulfilling obligations or of contacting some mystical power. It’s all very saddening when you consider in ….
Those are the anticlines however, people asking for things they already own, praying for death instead of life..etc
On the up-side it really is perpetual communion, and this is possible through the Spirit of Truth.
Wow! I think it’s so good to hear prayer speak from such a position. Are we in agreement or being enchanted by her assuaging voice? Fasting, you are often consulted along with Miss Prayer due to your interdependent roles in the industry. What do you think of Miss Prayers assertions?
MISS FASTING CONCEPTION:
The thing is… all our offices are intertwined both in role and understanding. Take for instance, The Foundation of Miss Identity; without proper knowledge of her technicalities, there is bound to be misinterpretation of the roles of the rest of us. I can’t even expect to relate how many times people expect me to carry out Prayer’s responsibilities and actually give me credit when she does her job.
The thing is… some people don’t know my history, how I was first initiated into the industry, how I used to live with the mournful. It is hard to believe because now New Creation magazine has really redefined my portfolio…
That is so true and we are all happy to experience the New Fasting. You can find more details of that in the Isaiah 58 article of The Old Testament Magazine. Miss Security…
*Miss Security interrupts
MISS SECURITY CONCEPTION
As in eh?! If I say I want to enumerate all my grievances at the misinterpretation of my role and even the gross ignorance of my parameters, we will stay here till rainy season OH!!
Calm down Miss Security. We will be right back after this short break; this is Miss Conception 2016, don’t go anywhere.
*applause on ‘Action’
Welcome back to Miss Conception 2016. Now, Miss Security, Which part of your large portfolio would you like to tell us about?
MISS SECURITY CONCEPTION
Of course it is the Weapons matter. Which part of ‘love your enemies’ don’t we understand? It’s baffling. I can imagine how it would be if the early Apostles had taken up arms back in the days of persecution. Today it is a normal thing to see armed men ‘guarding’ the glory. And you wonder who they then look to for protection when they so obviously have left behind the Ways of the Love and Peace. Everyone is walking in stilettos studded with fear and we expect Faith to trend on twitter… Oh it is ridiculous.
Speaking of twitter; Miss Identity, what does your foundation have to say about this matter? And I want you, as Miss Security has done, speak about the Industry within your sphere.
MISS IDENTITY CONCEPTION
Hmmm. There was a time when ‘gathering of the Brethren’ Produtions concentrated on enlightening the public concerning their rights and privileges, telling them who they are. But now its they have broken off into denominations and local outlets so that even the big gatherings no longer even remember what it’s about. If people are not trooping to Miss Prayer, they are off to Miss Fasting and I think the real problem is…from my department.
Really interesting, think about that on this short break; this is… Miss Conception 2016, don’t go anywhere.
*applause on ‘Action’
Welcome back to Miss Conception 2016.
Now, MISS IDENTITY; for those just joining us, and even some of us who’ve been here, please explain how The Conceptions have been influenced by your office.
MISS IDENTITY CONCEPTION (continues):
Hmmm. See it is not a matter of telling or advising or even educating people about roles because those lines can again be blurred in the face of the different designers that are in every corner today. The problem is that everyone thinks they need something… we in the industry need to always remember and be reminded that we have indeed been blessed with everything…
MISS IDENTITY CONCEPTION (continues so the applause fades):
We have been blessed with everything that we need…inside each and every one of us.
So right…so right. So many selfies with Jesus and Saint Paul will keep anyone conscious of this. Now, Last…
*whooping cheers from the audience
..Last but most definitely not the least; Miss Giving Conception. In the light of all that the Miss Conceptions have said, I’d like you to cap it all up.
MISS GIVING CONCEPTION
First of all… I’d like to give thanks to God for where we are in the Kingdom today. My sister Conceptions call it the Industry, but I like to call it the Kingdom and also I give thanks to …em…the CEDARS.
To cap this all up I think everyone needs to remember a quote for each of these my Sister Conceptions.
With my Darling Identity, remember, you are co-heirs with Christ
With Miss Prayer, Man ought to pray always, not at 12am or before every meal…always
With Miss Fasting, if the Lord does not build a house, they labour in vain that build it.
With the radiant Miss Security… The righteous shall live by faith.
And For yourself?
I think it should be,’No one asks and it is not given to them…’
MISS GIVING (*nodding and smiling)
Okay…I think I like that.
You’ve heard from them, the Conceptions themselves. Thank you Ladies, for making the time for us today.
Now, my Lovely Audience, you must have noticed this empty seat. It wasn’t left so by mistake. This chair represents your mind;like Miss prayer said, only in the Spirit of Truth can we be equipped sincerely through the Word. Will you crown Truth in your mind or should we expect another Miss Conception?
Till next time, Kings and Priests, Fellow Saints of The Most High…this is Miss Conception 2016!!!!
THE LEVER AGE
(‘The Leverage’ Parody)
Welcome to the new cursor ” 2017″
You have come a long way to go past this destination, you won’t end here.
This is the new age, if today’s your birthday.
And if you know rage, thank God you’re still here. Yayyy!!!
Help me, Teller, to live; I need the catch to buy this ‘New Year’ idea that’s free.
But People! It’s cool, celebrate!
Appreciate God for this date.
In time, we elevate,
New adventures, we initiate.
Even evening out odd odds,
Welcome on board, Ladies and Lords.
Listen carefully! Get rid of the cages
It is you, the called, who has the ring and engages
The lost in the chases, teaching them he won their races.
And keeping on with the sweaty praises.
Yesterday is long gone, like a rifle.
It is time to grow and flow, like a trickle.
Let’s update our versions of operation
So we stay compatible with re-presentation.
This is still our present, we’re won.
Words are never enough, Let us love rough.
And if I die in battle, look for my disciple.
Look! Never forget it’s still earth
World full of pain and near-death
World full of War and Ogiri
World full of plenty praying you see
Truth as you strive on a quest to be best
Tomorrow is just another test…of your rest.
© , The Niel
Wrote this exactly on the First day of 2017
Just for laughs
*_Wonderfully described definitions……._*
A pinch of tobacco
rolled in paper
with fire at one end
and a fool at the other!
It’s an agreement
a man loses his bachelor degree
and a woman gains her master
An art of transmitting Information
from the notes of the lecturer
to the notes of students
without passing through the minds
The confusion of one man
multiplied by the
The art of dividing
a cake in such a way that
he got the biggest piece
The hydraulic force by which
masculine will power is
defeated by feminine water-power!
A place where divorce comes
A place where everybody talks,
and everybody disagrees later on
which people praise,
but never read
that can set
a lot of things straight!
where you can relax
after your strenuous
to make others believe
that you know
you actually do
who can do
and sit to decide
that nothing can be done
to bring an end
who tells you
to go to hell
in such a way
that you actually look forward
to the trip
who starts taking bath
into a river
who lives poor
he can die RICH!
from the other,
unless he gets caught
who is early
when you are late
when you are early
shakes your hand
and your Confidence
and kills you
by his bills!
Chimamma: Its on the 19th of may 2016
Chimamma: Burn down the palaces of doctrines and denominations
Chimamma: She is ONE CHURCH
Chimamma: We are gods. Stay close to the centre cos we are nothing but dead g ods without the life of Him who gives it
Cindy: *so them words carry power if they are Gods and if they be spoken*…….. #word
I am DaNiel Achi-kanu. I am a Son of God, perhaps like you. I’m also a poet, I’d like you to know about PENSPEAK 2016- A spoken word poetry event happening in the UNN this May.
PensPeak ’15 found me in audience starry eyed staring at God’s stars in the sky of our generation…
But it was early in the evening…and as the year evened out even I found myself picking up the pieces of my blown away mind…
PensPeak ’16 found me piecing pieces to Peace and please don’t simply be pleased by this piece of pieces…
Its early in the eve of the evening when its happening. Happen in tune with us…even out the event with us.
UNN, May 19.
Call – Ada +2348160565714
Or. Me +2347036013927
Pieces and pens make Pen’s Peak…
Be a piece… Don’t just speak
#PENSPEAK2016 … INVASION
I’ve observed that in every department In
school, there are this set of students you
would always find in your department no
matter what. Well, with enough said, let’s
start from somewhere.
1. THE S.U(s): These sets of students are
always “spiritual” thus looking @ every
other student in the class like sinners. Any
small issue,they would start quoting bible!
2. THE EFIWES/GURUS: Theses one’s are the
first class students always reading at the
slightest opportunity. At times,they make
you look very unserious. They hardly joke/
play in the class. Always reading!
3. THE SLEEPING MACHINES : I have two of
them in my department. Chai,they can
sleep for Africa! Morning,afternoon or
evening lectures,they are always dozing or
sleeping like tomorrow no dey.
4. THE DECEIVERS: I call them the deceivers
Coz these sets of students are the most
playful in class. Always too playful either
lecture is on or not. The deceiving part of
it is these people read like teracopy behind
close doors,have good grades yet always
too playful. Most times,they appear
unserious but let result come out,you
would be shocked to see them with the best
grades. The foolish students joins them
playing not knowing what He does behind
5. THE I.T.Ks: These people can be very
annoying! Always wanting their own
opinion/suggestion to supersede others.
They think they are always right whenever
6. THE COOL DUDE/BAE: These ones hardly
talks in class. They just enter,sit,write and
leave the class. They only tend to talk with
just two people in a class of 80.
7. THE WAVES STUDENT: You only see these
ones whenever there’s test,pratical & exam.
Sometimes,you wonder if truly they are
8. THE CAUSE TROUBLE: At any slight
opportunity,they don cause trouble. Fight
with this,fight with that. Hardly will a week
go by without them fighting anybody. They
can also implicate the whole class at times.
9. THE ACTIVISTS: they
challenge unserious lecturers,corrupt class
reps who all they want is to milk you dry
and yet embezzel course notes money. They
challenge any decision that is against the
interest of the students.
10. THE OLODOs: These ones no sabi
anything! They can even tell you to spell
their name for them or remind them their
matric number. Sitting with such people
during exams can be frustrating. They beg
you to spell for them even after telling
11. THE FRONT/BACK SITTERS: No matter the
circumstances,these ones will always sit
either in the front or at the back. Some
even have permanent sit they assigned to
12. THE FUNNY BONES: A day without them
in class,it always boring. They can make
joke out of anything! Even lecturers are
aware of their humorous attitudes. No
matter how the whole class is serious or
tensed up,they would always make you
13. LATE COMERS: Morning,afternoon or
evening,they are always late to lectures so
much that lecturers know them as serial
would always have something to talk
about. They hardly keep quiet. They can
talk from now till rapture comes.
15. Add yours……and tell me which group you
belong….. # copied
For the invention of phones,
Facebook whatsapp 2go,
For my cousins and Friends,
Okpa, yogurt and bread,
for plantain and for beans,
some don’t know what this means.
But am praising the Lord
who I couldn’t afford,
but I got him for free,
like a slap in a crowd,
and he teaches aloud,
when am quiet enough,
I am caught in his love,
like a flame in a stove.
All bow to him,
who makes wild flowers a team,
who with no greater speech
made a star and leech.
All hail the King,
don’t wait to sing,
make noise and dance,
this here’s a chance,
He’s Lord of the Rings,
Circles circling him,
All hail the king
Don’t take my words, go test away.
Put on life’s lab coat and let your experiences be test tubes.
Pour in the Word of God in one instance of your presence…
And let conventional wisdom be your next lens…
Carry out a few experiments on the Word…
See if God is as faithful as you’ve heard…
There are movies
Of serene stations
Where cars stroll in
Are fed fuel
Only to drive off
Unto the slithering tarmac
Not here people!
First, Get in line!
Does your father own the filling station?
How long will I stay here?
Don’t ask me that!
Am I a seer? Don’t ask me!
If you don’t stay sharp,
Drivers will overtake you
While you count your attempts
You see screamers up ahead
A dullard gets sharp quickly here
But in your alertness
Don’t let your car kiss another
Such vehicular indecency
Is a big mistake.
Show the pumps your tank top;
When you get less fuel
Than you bargained for.
Sneak out your exit
Through the chaos of cars
And blame it on the Government
When you patronize us again.
Oh has it been weeks already?
That’s scarcity for you.
We’re accustomed to it.
Blame it on the Government.
Look at these people
Even with a microphone and a crowd,
No one is ever where they’re called to be.
The bored guests reply incitement with elastic necks
The MC need not be an artist to draw attention.
What are they spraying?
Oh, air freshener in the open!
Next they’ll…there it is!
Airborne Naira notes reach futilely for dignity
As they fall amidst the sweating bodies.
This is a Nigerian Wedding reception,
And most of us, I especially, count down to the Refreshments.
I wait, to capture craze…like this sudden shift of honorarium to the Traditional Head,
And this Baker discussing the cake’s colors like she created a masterpiece.
People try to take pictures of everything…
There is almost no difference between a rich and not-so-rich wedding…
Except quality and comfort, and both on the guests.
The confusion and comfort of the couple and MC is constant.
Now the couple is being watched by everyone as they dance…
They’d wanted to do this all along and society didn’t allow it?
Money is sent swimming through the air again and food causes quarrels.
Yes, I just joined the toast…with a clan of empty cups.
Wait… Don’t blame me for sitting and watching,
None of this isn’t spilled milk now.
Aha! They’re fighting at the food corner…reason? I bet the food is gone.
I am certain the couple’s hunger is a bottomless pit.
All the young in the place get to test moves on the band.
Where is this cake? And how will the Traditional Head finish a cooler of food?
Some people who share my disapproval begin a fight in front of everyone.
A hawker saunters across the event.
Regardless of the state of affairs,
People line up to offer gifts and leave,
Love permeates the air,
Even as the women leader starts a fight of her own.
I guess I sat just outside cake season.
So…turns out there’s a lot of food;
Just rice scarcity…disaster of nuclear proportion.